Dreaming of trains

I woke up at 2:15am today, having been startled into wakefulness by a pretty random nightmare. 

I was riding in an elevated train in an unspecified city. Sitting in the last car on the train, eating gummy alphabet letters. They were particularly chewy ones. There was no one else in the car with me, or indeed the entire train, and for some reason I decided that instead of being in the last car on the train, I wanted to be in the first. 

So at the next stop on the train - where again, no one got off or on - I exited the last car on the train, scurried up the platform to the first car, and got on again before the doors closed. I didn't take my valuables with me, consciously thinking, "I can come back for my handbag later." The train took off again, still cruising over the unspecified city. I still had my gummy alphabet letters, and I was standing right at the front of the train, looking out at the window (there was no driver on this train).

I had a vague feeling of unease this entire time, like something either wasn't quite right, or I was being chased, or maybe there should have been someone else on the train with me and there wasn't. So pretty quickly, I decided I wanted to go back to the last car on the train.

So at the next stop, I got off again and started down the platform to enter the last car. Only this time, for some reason, instead of scurrying, I strolled very casually. And before I got to the last car, the doors had closed again, and the train left without me. I started running after it, but of course the platform ran out, and I just had to watch it leave, knowing my handbag was still on there, and that it was my fault for leaving it there on purpose and for no apparent reason.

And I started panicking, because I didn't know which train I had been on. It wasn't a scheduled train, so I couldn't just call up the transportation authority of whichever city it was and tell them, "It was the 8:06am to Westchester" or whatever. It was just the elevated train, which comes every couple of minutes, and it seemed to me there would be no way for anyone to track it down. And I didn't have my phone anymore anyway, and there was still no one around to ask for help.

Anyway, that's it. That was the dream, and that's all I can remember, so if you were hoping for some sort of excitingly complex resolution ..... sorry.

But I woke with such a start and pretty much leapt out of bed in a panic, thinking, what am I going to do, what am I going to do??? I was breathing heavily and totally lost about what to do. It took me a solid couple of minutes to realize where I was and what had just happened. It's ok. You had a bad dream. Your handbag is right there. Go back to sleep.

I almost never remember my dreams, though I do find them quite interesting to reflect on. Turning to the online Dream Dictionary, which has over 5900 keywords, there's an interesting interpretation of what it means to see a train in your dream: "To see a train in your dream represents conformity. You are just going along with what everyone else is doing. [...] To dream that you are on a train symbolizes your life's journey. It suggests that you are on the right track in life and headed in the right direction."

When I look up handbag, it says: "To dream that you lost your purse denotes loss of power and control. You may have lost touch with your real identity."

...The dictionary doesn't have an entry for gummy alphabet letters.

So...I'm on the right track in life, but I've lost touch with my real identity? That's pretty confusing. Honestly, this was a weird one for me.

But I'm at least happy it wasn't real.

Love,
Joëlle