What to focus on

A bit of a rambling one tonight:

Some days I sit and stare at a computer screen, wondering what on earth I'm going to write about. Because sometimes, the mind's just blank. Sometimes, I'm worried about all the other stuff I was supposed to get done tonight. Sometimes, I can't think of anything particularly happy that happened to me today. Sometimes, I feel guilty and silly for putting down thoughts like this, as if there's anyone else out there who would actually want to read them.

Then today on Elizabeth Gilbert's Facebook page, I came across the below picture of a temporary tattoo from Tattly, based on a drawing by Marc Johns.

I love it. I wish I had that temporary tattoo, right here, right now. 

Well, unfortunately, I don't.

...But I do have a pen.

So tomorrow, I'm going to wake up, look down at my arm, and think, "oh yeah, I'm the crazy lady who drew on her arm last night. Why would I do that?" And I won't know. I don't really know what any of this is for these days. Why am I suddenly training to be a yoga teacher when I'm still paying off my fancy MBA? Why am I writing a blog each and every day about happy moments that no one reads when I myself don't even know how to BE happy? Why am I tidying and coloring and meditating and questioning, questioning, always questioning, AND WHY AM I DRAWING ON MYSELF???

I don't know.

But it might just have something to do with the little voice inside, always whispering, "This isn't it. Keep going."

Maybe the first step to finding happiness is to admit to yourself that you haven't found it yet, while simultaneously convincing yourself that it is out there somewhere. It's there to be found.

And if that means drawing a crude map on your forearm once in a while, or following the sound of a crystal bowl, or chasing the sun, or just gearing up for some crazy big risk you never thought you could take but you've got to because you just TATTOOED YOURSELF with instructions to focus on happiness, then, well...

What are you waiting for?