Because it is Finally Friday, and because that is Fabulously Fantastic, I have decided to challenge myself to write a short story using as many F-words as possible in only Five minutes.
My timer is set. Let's see what happens.
Felicity was fed up. She was flipping out over how Ferdinand had treated her, belittling her like that in front of all of her family and friends. How could she have ever felt the way she had about him? About the fuchsia fabric that lined the back seat of his Ford Focus? About the flirty way he cooked french fries, or flipped fish fingers? About the futile way he fasted on Fridays? Or the fond and fatherly way he looked when he played with his faithful pet fox, Felipe, in the forest?
They were finished. Their relationship had failed. It was final. Ferdinand would never again get to touch her in that feisty way. But how could he have done this? Was it because he thought she was fat? Or fugly?
He had told everyone - while drunk on Fosters beer - that her fingernails, that she flaunted with such flattery, were fake. False. Faux. And that she could no longer frown because of Botox. That she fostered such an appearance because she wanted fame and fortune. Well, fie on him!
She would go far, far away. Farewell, Ferdinand! Farewell to his freaky, fleshy fingers and unusually feeble femurs. Farewell to the funny fuzz across his chin.
Finally, she flaunted her figure at him one last time, flashing past him on the way to her Ferrari. It kicked up dust as she flew away, fast and furious.
Final count: 66. That was...Fine. It was less Facile than I expected. And yet...Freeing, somehow? (I'll stop now.)
Truth be told, that took me a little longer than five minutes, due to some light revision. Probably more like ten, which doesn't start with F. Well, fudge. Still, it's a good reminder to me that there is fun to be found everywhere. Even a single letter - and just a few minutes - can lead to a little fantasy.