One of the very first blog posts I wrote this year was about how much I love bad shark movies, and late last night into the wee hours of this morning was a prime example of that.
After I got home to my sister's apartment, having indulged in the (delicious) first fondue of the 2016-2017 winter season, my sister and I exchanged a meaningful look.
"It is time," she said.
"It is," I agreed.
And we sat down to watch ... Sharknado: The 4th Awakens, the latest in the Sharknado series.
Now, as shark movies go (and I know my shark movies), I have mixed feelings. Because it's obviously an extremely campy installment, and I do like a little self-deprecating humor. On the other hand, I also do like it when the actors in these films treat it really seriously, and where there's just a little bit of an explanation involved as to how and why sharks are even in the picture at all. Because Sharknado 4 does indeed have a couple of mad scientists, but ... I was concerned their science didn't add up. And other characters seemed deeply, deeply stupid.
For example: If you wanted to get married while skydiving, and you were in a plane about to jump out, and suddenly that plane found itself caught in a sandstorm/tornado above Las Vegas, and then that tornado sucked all the sharks out of a giant water tank such that now your plane was in the middle of a tornado and there were killer sharks floating all around you, might you not abort your plans to jump out of said plane? Well, if you're Matt and Gabby Shepard, the answer would a resounding no, and you know what? People like that deserve to be eaten by sharks.
Also, I could understand why there were sharks in the Las Vegas tornado, yes, due to aforementioned water tank. But when other tornadoes started popping up in South Dakota, Arizona, Missouri, and Kansas - and they also were full of sharks - I'm sorry, where exactly were those sharks coming from? Those are all landlocked states! Even a throwaway line about how there were giant aquariums nearby or something might have satisfied me.
In one of those states, the tornado also picked up cows, thus becoming a cownado, and that I could fully accept, particularly when a cow kicked a shark in the face. But all the other stuff? I was left wanting more. I mean, if you're going to blow up the Grand Canyon to "stop the flooding" or shoot laser beams at Mount Rushmore because a shark flew up George Washington's nose or something like that, I'm sorry, there better be some scientific explanation behind it.
Anyway, so this wasn't the best or worst shark movie I've ever seen, by a long shot. It was still fun, and it ends with the promise of yet another sequel (and an international one, this time!) So generally, I was a pretty happy camper sharking it up. We all have our silly little quirks, after all, and this is mine.
Ok, this is one of mine. But still.