This isn't something I generally admit on a first meeting, but I really love shark movies. Low-quality shark movies, that fall solidly into the B-movie category. You know the type: bad special effects, nonsensical plot, generally starring D-list actors or washed-up TV stars from decades past. In other words: Jaws, these ain't.
To be clear: I don't avoid the admission because I'm embarrassed by this. My sister (a fellow diehard fan) and I have had intensely serious conversations about the topic in many a crowded room. Rather, it's to spare everyone else my launching into a crazy-long monologue about my favorite films, scenes, or the fact that, actually, Brooke Hogan's acting in Two-Headed Shark Attack wasn't half bad. Whenever I do start babbling, I'm usually met by a nervous laughter, or a defiant challenge that "You're making those up."
Am I, though?
And then there's my absolute all-time favorite, the classic 2002 masterpiece, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. Observe:
That scene at the end? That is a man, jet-skiing into a giant shark's mouth.
In Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, a shark jumps 30,000 feet to bring down an airplane.
In Sharknado 3, there is a scene where Ian Ziering and his father, David Hasselhoff, go to outer space to destroy tornadoes full of sharks with tanks full of rocket fuel because of course they do.
I'm not sure why I love these movies so much. Escapist fun can be found in many other ways, and no, they're not the only movies I watch. I've tried similar genres--spiders, crocodiles, piranhas--but...I don't know, Lavalantula just wasn't the same without sharks, even with fire-breathing giant arachnids. I guess I just like embracing my own silly little idiosyncrasies, the way we all do (right?).
Excuse me--I'm being told there is in fact a heretofore-unknown-to-me film called Three-Headed Shark Attack. This makes me so happy.
Because if they keep making movies like this, then it means I'm not alone.